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Guest post: On how (not) to choose a good man
Edward Suhadi comment One Comment

I’m starting a new idea that any sorts of people could post their writing on this blog. I like writers, and I know that it is a talent, and it took a lot of work to put your thoughts into words. As long as it is positive and within the values of our little shop, write anything you want. Give some colors to this space. Could be an article on your existing blog, happy to send some readers that way. If interested, please send yours to edward@edwardsuhadi.com

For this first time guest, I ask my dear friend Feliz, a funny-witty gal who always make me laugh with her dark-sarcastic writing, to send me some words about how to choose a good man. Here goes.

On how (not) to choose a good man

All the single ladies out there must have wondered, at some point in time (and some more often than others), how to choose a good man. And based on my experience, it’s so damn hard… and it gets harder as Indonesians are natural meddlers… and meddle do they must with all their advices.

“Stay cool, but not too cool”
“Don’t hold him back. Heh, what do you mean you let him went to a concert with a bunch of gal pals??”
“Flattery gets you everywhere. No, no, that doesn’t mean that if he said you look nice then you can say that he looks nice too. Have some dignity, woman!”

Yes, as we all have learned from the Ariel video case, Indonesians can be so ambivalent and contradictory.

But good advices do come now and then… and the best one so far is “be yourself”. Thus, even though I’m still working on finding a good man myself, I already know a thing or two about how *not* to choose a good man based on my mistakes and experiences:

1. Thou shall not choose a good man by looks, because a single pimple can make the relationship go bust.
2. Thou shall not choose a good man by the size of his wallet, because love should be about being able to lean on each other through life’s thick and thin, not the wallet’s.
3. Thou shall not choose a good man on a drunken state, because love should last until the end, not until the next day.
4. Thou shall not choose a good man who’s willing to fall head over heels for you over his girlfriend… because hey, who knows, maybe next year, you’ll be the girlfriend who he will pass on to fall head over heels for some other girl.
5. Thou shall not choose a good man that promise to call but do not call… because you do deserve it.
6. Thou shall not choose a good man that only wants to hold your hands when no one is around, because what’s the point of loving someone if you can’t express it.
7. Thou shall not choose a good man who won’t listen to you, because everyone is blessed by 2 ears and 1 mouth. The 2:1 ratio is already a clue from God that we need to listen more than we talk.
8. Thou shall not choose a good man who wants to change you into something you’re not. Because everyone is unique, like a snowflake (seriously!)
9. Thou shall not choose a good man who can’t make a promise. Because if he can’t be there for you tomorrow, how can you be sure that he will be there for you next year and the year after and the year after that?
10. Thou shall not choose a good man with a sweet mouth… because his sweet talks are usually for every girl in his world, not just you.
11. Thou shall not choose a good man who is traumatized by his previous relationship… because to him, you’re just as evils as his evil ex-girlfriend.
12. Thou shall not choose a good man who likes to play games with your feeling… because games hurt and girls have feelings too
13. Thou shall not choose a good man who won’t allow you to change your mind on your decision… because life is a choice and so does your decision to (not) choose him.

I’m still trying to find a good man who fulfill this criteria and to be honest, I’m more likely to add another point to the commandments rather than putting them to rest because I already find someone. Maybe I’m picky, but I think it’s worth it if the reward is spending a lifetime with your best friend rather than just with a good man.

Feliz is currently gaining more and more wisdom in her daily life as she keeps on searching for THE good man.

feliz funny man

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  1. nice Feliz, I definitely agree with that list… I’m still searching too, hmm maybe more to waiting to be found than searching 😛
    Anyway, single girls rock! Let’s keep up the spirit