folder Filed in If It Was My Wedding, Thoughts, Wedding And Marriage
If It Was My Wedding: I Will Be Happy
Edward Suhadi comment 8 Comments

I love what I am seeing right now.

I am in a coffee shop in a mall with my laptop open, and as I start to write, I notice something familiar about the couple in front of me.

As it happens, they look like they’re preparing for their wedding.

They’re flipping wedding magazines, opening up folders and scrapbooks, exchanging notes and what I believe are various quotations from wedding vendors.

Y’know why I love this view?

Because they genuinely look like they’re having fun.

They’re constantly giggling and exchanging opinions about whatever is written on that piece of paper. The girl occasionally leans over to whisper something at the boy’s ear, then she puts her arm around his neck. Both of their faces are so close as they continue to browse the magazine pages on his lap. And then another giggle.

They’re very relaxed, taking their time, and like I said, they look like they’re having fun.

Why do I love this simple boy and girl interaction?

Because sadly, this is a rare view.

What’s more common is the stressed out look, the ‘let’s-get-this-over-with’ face, and the ‘I-can’t-believe-it’s-this-hard-to-put-on-a-wedding’ stare.

Look, I know to put on a beautiful, smooth wedding took a lot of effort and preparations, but at least at the end of the day: have fun doing it.

Sure there are things that cannot go your way (read: parents), but focus on what that can go your way, and just let things go.

What’s the point of having a party when you’re not having any fun?

I think there should be a new breed of couples, those that do their weddings like they do because of all the right reasons.

I really feel bad for some (not all) couples that are getting married these days. They’re so stressed out.

It’s like they’re doing things for all the wrong reasons. Maybe it’s their parents social agendas, or the pressure to top their friend’s beautiful wedding, or seeing their budget maxed out because they thought the best of things are the most expensive of things, or doing things the way they do just because everybody’s doing it, or the plain simple-but-deadly: worrying to much about what people say.

C’mon mates ๐Ÿ™‚

Btw, let me say one thing about ‘what people say’. People said one bad thing about us, took them like 30 seconds to say it, and then they have this fabulous lunch with their friends, and then they go shopping, and then they go to the movies, and then they go home and sleep like a baby. What about us? We thought about it over and over and we can’t sleep and we change the things we love because of what they said and we did not like it at all, and we’re losing sleep over it. Now who’s the fool? ๐Ÿ™‚

I think there should be a new breed of couples, those that do their weddings like they do because of all the right reasons.

I declare another revolusiong! Hahahaโ€ฆ

In fact, this post is perfect for launching a new series of writing that I’ve been preparing.

I’m gonna call it: “If It Was My Wedding“.

I’ll be writing about how I would do things on my wedding if I could do it all over again.

It’s strictly subjective (hence the title), but I think it would give some fresh views about how to prepare your wedding, giving you alternative ways of thinking about wedding preparations, even from someone who is neck deep inside the wedding industry.

It would be interesting since I am sure heck would not be unhappy on my wedding day and its preparations.

What I am hoping from this is, that you would not too.

Please tell me what you think.



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  1. ย Having been to so many weddings, including many of friends, and involving in their preparations, as well as my own sister’s wedding, I have to say I had fun. So I think when it comes to my turn, I definitely want to have fun! No way I’m going to do the “just wan’t to get it over and done with”. Though, I can see how the stress can get into people.

    And family is definitely a big factor for Indonesian weddings, not to mention the so called “social status” and image. Ugh.

    Looking forward to your “If It Was My Wedding” notes! I have my ideas of wedding, but I figured, I should focus on finding the frog prince, who knows, he might have a different idea ๐Ÿ˜›

  2. 1st and foremost, I reallly need to say this : you’re not just a good photographer, I think you’re also a very good writer. and storyteller. Seeing from your Lagu Baru project, I get the impression that your team also consists of very big hearts as well. Do I sound like a rabid fan already? I’m sorry, it’s just that I very rarely find people with as much passion as you guys. Keep up the great work!

    Anyway, before I knew I was going to get married I always rolled my eyes at the whole wedding industry, and continually said to my friends who are getting married : please please prepare the tone and role sharing of your marriage with much more care and diligence than you do preparing it for your wedding.
    And yet here I am, one month to go before my wedding day, behaving like any common run of the mill bridezilla on the loose. Easier said than done, indeed.

    I agree with the comment from Miss Lai-Lai, that here in Indonesia family is a very big factor indeed, and that turned out to by my biggest obstacle as well. I wanted an intimately small garden party, but you know how family gets the final say -____-‘

    In the end I guess that is what truly matters, even if I don’t get to do it the way I want it, at least I still get to marry the man of my dreams. Like my (future) husband always reminds me : it’s not just our party, but our parents’ as well. You can choose to sulk and have a crappy time, or we can laugh about it together and have a great time.

    Now even though before my wedding day I already have gaziliion ideas how I could have done it differently, thankfully, the ideas do not involve doing it with a different partner ๐Ÿ˜€

    Looking forward to your future posts, and thanks for the inspiration, I may write some of my own as well ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Andied, so really nice to hear from you. I like this: “You can choose to sulk and have a crappy time, or we can laugh about it together and have a great time.” – that is basically how you deal with life ๐Ÿ™‚

      Have a great wedding. Be happy. Have a great memory on that day, and build a marriage to be an example. Looking forward to hear more from you.

  3. Can u make the Indonesia version (or maybe chinese version if needed) of this article? So we can print it, and put it on every wall, every door, every house, every where possible, and all parents can understand about this issue

    Damn I love this article!

  4. Edward! Im a young wedding photographer in Jakarta. And all i can say is i feel the same way, and a see the same problem. I dont see a super happy smiles on their (bride and groom to be) faces anymore. I think a lot people forgot things that matter, enjoy and have fun because this is their party. It feels like they getting married for a wrong reason (parents, friends, age, the poin is not for themself). This is break my heart because i love my job and the reason is i love to see their happiness, see that happy stressed-free faces in the time of their life. It was a pleassure for me if i could join that moment. And this problem makes me wonder “is it very hard just to be happy in Indonesia? because even in our wedding day, we couldn’t get out from our stress”

  5. I love my wedding party and the wedding pics ! I enjoyed them so much. I still can feel the joy when i watch our wedding video or seeing our wedding pics. I laugh so hard and smile so big .. I thank GOD your team capture most of them ! Love love love it !!