My car (and most probably yours) has this alarm that goes off every time you fail to put on the seat belt. The BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP alarm sounds every now and then.

I always thought that the alarm will never goes silent, no matter how long I have been driving because I am used to leave the alarm beeping for the 1 km drive to the office from home and the thing just won’t shut up.

One day I was driving home from a dinner and got caught in a hot conversation with Francy. After a while I realized that I had not put the belt on, but the alarm has stopped.

As it turns out after a certain distance, the alarm, eventually, turns off.

A certain ‘okay suit yourself if you want to go head first into the windshield if you hit a tree’ distance.

I can’t help but find the resemblence of this alarm with the people that we thought, will always be there for us.

People that we thought will always be there forever and ever, calling us back when we go astray, pulling us up when we are down.

We thought the job of inspiring ourselves will always falls on the hands of the people that so far, has always been there for us.

So we grow soft, weak, dependable and lazy. We thought everytime we played the ‘I’m feeling down’ card, that certain someone will pick us right back up. We always wait for the ‘there-there’ pat on our backs, the texts of encouragement, and the phone calls of inspiration.

We refuse to grow strong, to rise against the tide, to stand on our own two feet. To be responsible for our own destiny.

We thought he will always be there for us.

Or so we thought.

I had mentored a lot and been mentored by a lot more people in my life, and there’s one thing that I know: Mentors, helpers, inspirators, saviours, they all have their limits.

No matter how much we love the guy under our wings and how much we train him to grow, but if he does not start to learn to stand on his own two feet, there’s a limit to how long we will still be around.

I found that even the kindest, most compassionate, most considerate, thoughtful and caring of mentors and sponsors, will always have their limits.

If we don’t start to own some responsibility for our lives, they too will eventually shut up and leave us be.

Remember the seatbelt alarm.

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*Follow the writer Edward Suhadi on his Twitter account @edwardsuhadi