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When You're Married Feelings Will Die But
Edward Suhadi comment 0 Comments


I have this friend back in junior high (SMP). He really-really-really loved the song “Back For Good” by Take That.

Ahhh the days when you don’t have to be ashamed when you listen to boybands.

He even liked it so much that he was turning off every radio station that played the song. He also skipped the track everytime we start listening to it on the CD player.

“I don’t want to hear it too often. Otherwise I’ll get bored. And I don’t want that.”

We thought, “Damn this guy is crazy.”

I mean have you ever heard something like that? Somebody refusing to hear a song he likes so much because of the fear of the song getting boring?

Now many years after, I kinda understand what he meant.

Because the truth is, we do really get bored. At everything.

Everything is exciting for the first times.

But things will always get boring.

Everything. Even your #lifepartner

We see her everyday, listen to her everyday, we met her everyday. Seeing the same face, hearing the same voice, doing the same weekends.

And when you’re bored, you’ll stop having feelings about her.

That’s why the most important thing in a relationship are not the excitement, the passion and the electricity when you hold his hand.

It’s commitment.

Because with our human nature that will always get bored at everything, a relationship will not last longer than the next Oppa Gangnam Style craze if we were to listen to our feelings and follow our passionate libidos.

Feelings come and go depending on her waistline and his good mood, but commitment holds us steady in the head. And the heart.

It sounds like an old-fashioned and heavy word, but it is a word where a lot of people find true happiness.

“I promised to be with you. You promised to be with me. And we cannot get out of this.”

If you embrace commitment, you embrace what you have and not what you could (thought) you could have.

And life begins to crack when you live always thinking of what you could have.

You don’t wait joy, excitement, meaningful touches, passionate sex, whispering looks, and soul-enriching talks.

If you do wait for them, they will come. Eventually.

But then you’ll wait longer before they visit you for the next time. And then longer. And then even longer. And before you know it, you’re bored with your #lifepartner.

“I don’t have feelings for this woman anymore.”

Who has ever said that this is all about feelings?

It’s about commitment.

When you commit, and only after that your feelings will grow.

I’ll bet you one million dollars.

When you commit, you’ll start having joy waking up to her, you’ll get excitement everytime you come home from work. You’ll start to touch him silently when no one can see what your hands are doing, and you’ll start pulling her into you lips every chance you got. You’ll send her sentences with the glare of your eyeballs, and you’ll start to be amazed at the wisdoms of his words.

Can I repeat this one more time?

Feelings will never visit you.

Commit. Know there is no one else.

And you’ll see who will come banging on your door.